Renewed Hope

Oct. 29, 2014

Back to Fibro doc today after four months. At my previous appointment, he seemed to be throwing up his hands - beyond testing and possible treatment for Lyme Disease and heavy metal testing/chelation, he had little else to offer me. I truly don't believe I have Lyme Disease, and I'm not willing to do antibiotic treatment even if I had Lyme; besides, Doc doesn't know of anyone in the area who treats Lyme anyway, so I see no point in testing. I'm not really on board for heavy metal testing and chelation the way Doc does it, either - I've read too much that says chelating agents don't have a strong enough bond to the metals to hold onto them all the way out of the system. The metals get pulled out of tissue, but when the bond breaks, a lot of metal ends up getting redistributed throughout the body, often in places it wasn't in before. Dentist says it's counterproductive to do chelation before all the mercury is out of my mouth, and since I don't feel good about doing chelation at this point anyway, I believe it's actually been a blessing that I haven't been able to chew without pain on the teeth that have had amalgams removed and/or crowns placed. Dentist says it can take up to a year for those teeth to calm down, which buys me some time before Doc begins pushing the chelation. I'm hoping that Tai Chi, diet and supplements together will improve my immune system enough that after the amalgams are completely gone it can handle any remaining metals without chelation therapy.

Doc began the appointment by asking me to tell him what's going on; he had a list of questions but wanted to hear from me first. I told him about starting Tai Chi in August and that it's been amazing; at the same time I began writing this gratitude journal, and hand-in-hand they have given me a new outlook. I told him why I started writing this - because of the epiphany that Freddie doesn't define me along with a personal need to write again - and related to him the positive effect: looking for blessings every day makes me aware that there really is much more to my life than Fibromyalgia, and that overall my life is very good. Not surprisingly, but still miraculous, I have felt better. He nodded knowingly. He told me at my last appointment, when I felt defeated and showed it, of a patient who just didn't respond to any treatments (one of those 10 percent, of which club I appeared to be a sad new member) and how she reported to him some time after he released her that she turned her life over to God. She accepted her condition and His will, and once she did that, she began to feel better. He urged me to do that, which I had tried many times to do. The gratitude journal - along with the meditative essence of Tai Chi - seemed to be the key to peace for me.

How grateful I am to have been led to a physician who recognizes that any medical intervention is only a complement to spirituality in promoting physical health. At every appointment, he has asked me, "Are you good with God?" or "How are you with God?" I am a spiritual person; my religion is my life. Yet somehow I could never find healing through prayer and faith alone; for whatever reason, I needed a physician to combine medical knowledge with spirituality, and perhaps now just happened to be the time for the two to come together. He told me today that he's not one to tell a patient he can fix this or that or to give false hope (yes, I saw that in my last two appointments!), but that he could tell me today he really believes I will get well. It won't be a revelation, "Hey! I'm healed!" but will be a gradual process. 

So, the technicalities of today's appointment: Doc says for me, the diagnosis "Fibromyalgia" really means mitochondrial dysfunction, as fatigue remains the primary, persistent issue. 

1. First, we need to address sleep, which was pretty good until our vacation approached and my mind raced with preparations. Then on vacation, sleeping in different beds with uncomfortable pillows, coupled with my propensity to overthink details of each day's adventures kept me half-awake every night. If I don't get back into better sleep in the next few weeks, he wants to consider a low-dose pharmacological combination to promote restorative sleep. A body cannot heal without restorative sleep!
2. He has learned even more about glutathione and methylation cycle since our last appointment, and he feels that I can triple my ALA dose to 600 mg twice a day. 
3. He ordered bloodwork to look at DHEA-S, Ferritin, and comprehensive metabolic panel to evaluate how the liver and kidney are functioning. He also wanted a specialized test for glutathione that had to be done in his office, so I did it while there today (three attempts by two nurses to find a vein ... aargh, the reason IV therapies are not a good option for me!) If glutathione is low, he will supplement, hopefully with liposomal cream, nasal spray or other non-intravenous carrier. 
4. Cortisol levels are OK - not great, but no longer at crashing level. I stopped taking cortisol about two months ago and went back on AdrenoChelate; I haven't noticed crashes, but Doc says the formula is weak and recommended Adrenal Stress-End by Integrative Therapeutics instead. 
5. No more Candida therapy! Even though Doc says this, I know too well how sugar and processed foods make me feel, so I will continue with a clean diet.
6. He gave me deep breathing exercises to do, which I did in the past, probably with Fibro Doc #1. Deep, abdominal breathing is inherent in Tai Chi, which I do at least once a day, but Doc's exercises are a good reminder. They're great because they can be done while driving (when I most need relaxation) or standing in line (the second-most common source of nervous stress) or at any time/place. I've actually had people in public places ask me if I'm OK when I start breathing deeply at the onset of stress. I'm sure I look like a head case about to pass out when I do that, but if people only knew how effective a few deep breaths is for centering and calming oneself!

And now it's time for bed, so I'll apply some progesterone cream and lavender oil, do my mind-calming Tai Chi memory exercises, and hope for pleasant dreams. I go to the retina specialist in the morning, though, so my mind will likely be anticipating that all night. For heaven's sake!

Do Sweat It!

Oct. 1, 2014

It’s October 1 and 93° ...  for those of us who are weary of summer, that’s quite annoying. However, there are two good things about it:

1. One more pool day – it’s pretty sweet to be in the pool on Oct. 1, 10 days into Fall.
2. Today’s high temps and sweltering humidity provided the perfect test day for a new deodorant I ordered. Primal Pit Paste is a truly aluminum- and paraben-free deodorant recommended on Danielle Walker’s blog, and my trial size arrived yesterday. More in a moment about why I chose this concoction …

The verdict:  Pit Paste rocks! Not only is this stuff invisible, non-sticky, non-greasy, non-fragranced (if you want it that way – they also have a bunch of essential-oil based fragranced varieties), but it works!  Other “natural” deodorants I’ve tried don’t keep me dry (which I can kind of put up with because sweating releases toxins), and they don’t work particularly well in the odor area, either. With Pit Paste, no wetness, no odor – it felt I didn’t have anything on my pits at all. I promptly ordered the regular size.

A lot of deodorants claim to be “natural” and aluminum-free, when in reality, aluminum is the main ingredient. Once I learned that aluminum is a neurotoxin a couple of years ago, I thought I was so proactive by ditching my Secret solid for a natural salt deodorant. But when I learned about Primal Pit Paste, whose Web site says most ”natural” deodorants do have aluminum, I checked my deodorant’s ingredient list.  It proudly claims to have no aluminum chlorhydrate, listing the only ingredient as potassium alum. Look that up! It’s a naturally occurring form of aluminum salt. So technically, manufacturers can say it’s “natural” – but just because something occurs in the earth doesn’t mean we need it in our bodies. Aluminum is a prime example of that. It has been linked to Alzheimer’s and other neurological issues as well breast cancer. Find links to studies showing that aluminum has been shown to interfere with estrogen-related gene expression here, here, here, and here. And these are from the NIH, the bastion of Western-Medicine thought. To read Dr. Joseph Mercola's thoughts on the health dangers of aluminum in antiperspirants and deodorants, click here.

So what is the ingredient list for Primal Pit Paste? From their Web site:

This is not an antiperspirant, but you would not know it because it keeps you dry. It is important to sweat and release toxins. Most deodorants and antiperspirants not only keep the toxins in by preventing you from sweating, but they are designed to absorb into the skin. And what are you absorbing? Aluminum and Parabens, to name just few harmful chemicals linked to Alzheimer's and Cancer.

Organic Coconut Oil, which has many health benefits for your brain and overall health.

Organic, Raw Grade-A Shea Butter, which has amazing properties like vitamin A and D which are great for your skin. In Africa, shea butter is used for cooking. It is derived from the nut of shea karite -tree. The shea butter we buy is fair trade, which is helping to support the women in Africa.

Non-Aluminum Baking Soda is a powerful odor-fighting ingredient!

Organic Arrowroot Powder is used as a thickener and helps with soaking up moisture while you sweat out those toxins!

Digest this ...

Aug. 19, 2014

We're quickly discovering that to learn Tai Chi is to learn intimately how the body works and moves, including how to eat and live. Every move - every hand and foot position in relation to other body parts - creates balance and strength. Sifu D is patient enough to show us how slightly moving a foot or hand increases stability, or how moving from the hips moves the rest of the body without excess effort. He takes each person's individual condition into consideration as he prepares a class and incorporates acupressure points or moves that will help each person. I was getting dizzy when bending down from the hips and then raising hands overhead; he gave me alternative moves that don't drop the head below the knees and also showed me some acupressure points and other moves that help normalize blood pressure. We visited after class about a friend I told about the class who said he planned to come to today's seated class. As we talked about my friend's health issues, the conversation turned to diet, particularly acid/pH balance. I know all about acidosis and have been working to raise my pH for some time. My current fibro doctor finally said to forget about the pH until we get Candida and mercury toxicity under control. Sifu wasn't very familiar with Candida and said he would ask his Master for some direction. 

As soon as we got to class this morning, Sifu had some info from his Master about acupressure points for low BP and diet suggestions, particularly combining foods. I've heard of it, but I couldn't remember what it is. Basically, it's not combining foods that have different digestive requirements. Proteins require intense amounts of acid to break down, while starches require an alkaline digestive medium.  The theory is that when starches and proteins are eaten together, the acid and alkaline neutralize each other, and the food passes into the body undigested. Fruit is mechanically digested in the stomach, but chemical digestion doesn't take place until it reaches the last stages of the small intestine, so if eaten with or after a meal, it sits on top of the other undigested food and starts to rot, as it's not being digested. All of that causes bloating and gas and an unhealthy digestive tract. Sifu said that people with a healthy digestive system don't have to worry as much about combining foods, but anyone with a lot of gas, bloating, and known digestive issues (including Candida) can benefit from combining foods.

I came home from class and do what I do: Google and read. I looked up "Combining Foods" and the most coherent, sensible article I found was Mercola.com. I've read all kinds of excoriating articles about Dr. Joseph Mercola - the usual quackwatch stuff. But every time I search an alternative-medicine topic, I wind up at his site and find information that doesn't sound fringe or weird at all. Since the Candida Diet hasn't done much for me, nor have antifungal drugs, I've been doing some things to improve gut health, namely adding some resistant starch and beefier probiotics. I'll give food combining a go and see how I feel.

Today's smile: 

 
A thank-you note handwritten by Grandson #1, all 5 years of him. He has a good Mommy teaching him to do such things :-)

The Mercury Connection

Aug. 14, 2014

I have terrible teeth; always have. My baby teeth were full of fillings - meaning that I've had mercury in my head for about 50 years. Doctors and dentists who believe that amalgam fillings are dangerous are vilified by "science-based" medical folks. Funny thing, though ... do you ever see a mercury thermometer on drugstore shelves any more? University after university has published guidelines on the safe handling of mercury. OSHA has published guidelines. Texas A&M - no obscure institution - says "All forms of mercury are toxic. ... Elemental mercury, as a vapor, penetrates the central nervous system (CNS), where it is ionized and trapped, resulting in its extreme toxic effects. ... Depending on the type of mercury and dose, symptoms may appear relatively quickly (acute disease) or take a number of years to appear (chronic disease)." Read the whole document here. Hmmmm. So it seems that fibro symptoms are virtually the same as heavy metal toxicity, particularly mercury poisoning. The symptoms are also identical to Candidiasis (resulting in Leaky Gut Syndrome), Lyme Disease, and others, which is why doctors who try to treat fibro take a multi-pronged approach. Most will try first to heal the gut through diet and sometimes drugs or supplements while simultaneously detoxing the body.

That's why Fibro doctor #1 suggested I have my amalgam fillings removed. I hadn't done any research on amalgams yet, so as sick as I was, I didn't understand the value in something so involved and expensive. Five years later, Doctor #3 was more emphatic. I found a biological dentist who removes amalgams following IAOMT (International Academy of Oral Medicine and Toxicology) guidelines. Because taking out fillings with a high-speed burr generates a cloud of mercury vapor and very fine particles that can be respirated and then systemically absorbed, biological dentists reduce exposure in prescribed ways: they slice the filling and remove it in chunks using constant water spray with a high-volume suction next to the tooth; the dentist and assistant wear nitrile glove and respirators with mercury-rated filters; the patient wears a positive pressure respiration device and the face & eyes are covered with a barrier to protect from spattered amalgam particles. Many dentists use a rubber dam in the patient's mouth to prevent particles from going down the throat. The room should be ventilated so that particles and vapor aren't dispersed throughout the office.

In the initial exam, Dentist found that all but one of my 12 back teeth need new fillings or to have amalgams removed and replaced. Five of those require crowns. This dentist uses no metal in the mouth because it can cause conductivity issues or allergic reactions, so the crowns are all porcelain - beautiful ... and expensive. This little adventure will set me back $11k. 

Dentist does all the work in one quadrant of the mouth at a time so as to get it all done in one numbing session. I had the first quadrant done in May, a crown, and a filling in the tooth next door. I couldn't bite down on the temporary crown - pain - and I hoped that the permanent crown would be better. It was worse! I scheduled and cancelled two or three appointments for the next quadrant because I couldn't bite down without pain and went back multiple times to have the crown adjusted. I could feel cusps on one side that were much bigger than the natural tooth, so it was no wonder I was hitting hard. Before we went on vacation last month, I went back to have Dentist file some more off - and he filed the cusps way down and also took a little off the top tooth that was hitting the bottom because he said any time there's a change, your brain tries to adapt by shifting the bite, and nearby the teeth actually move. I didn't want to have work done on the next quadrant until I could eat well on the first crown; it still hurts if I bite just so, but it's enough better that I went ahead with the second quadrant today, which involved replacing a crown that had both an amalgam and a composite filling, removing an amalgam filling from the tooth in front of it, and filling some fissures in the tooth behind it. 

My mouth was open for two and a half hours with a lot of pounding, pulling and stretching going on. When the numbness began wearing off two hours after I left the office, the area ached as if a tooth had been pulled. I took some ibuprofen, which helped immensely, but my jaw is so sore I can't chew. I accidentally bit down on the newly repaired teeth at dinner and the filled tooth hurt like crazy. 

Smiles of the day (the first being my frozen-face droopy smile this morning that kinda made me giggle inside): 

* It's 8 p.m. and Dentist called a few minutes ago to see how I'm doing :-)

* The view from the dental chair:

Every treatment room in the building has a view similar to this; if you have to sit in a chair for more than 2 hours with your mouth propped wide open, it's nice to look out at this rather than a bare wall!

Energy and calm

Aug. 2, 2014

Before pain and fatigue sidelined me, I was a writer and photographer. The brain fog took away words and my ability to organize and stay on task. The fatigue and pain stole the ability to accomplish physical and mental tasks, and feelings of self worth vanished. Consequently, I alternated between feeling hopeful and defeated.

I went back to college in my late 30s, before the onset of my health problems, although I believe it all really started there with the stress of my own unrealistic expectation to be the best at everything I did. A dear professor and mentor literally wouldn’t let me quit my journalism degree when the going got tough. Several years after graduation, when my health declined until I had to quit writing altogether, she reminded me that nothing is lost on a writer: “Why don’t you write about your experience?”

I tried once. Or twice. It was just too hard, trying to sort through why and how I got to be this way, and trying to chronicle all the doctors I’ve seen and treatments I’ve tried. Worst of all, trying to find words was an exercise in frustration that reminded me all too painfully of what I had lost.

I’m on my third fibro doctor, I’ve completed six months of an impossibly restrictive diet, I take handfuls of supplements three to five times a day, and I avoid toxins and chemicals, including fluoride and artificial sweeteners. I’ve explored Candidiasis, heavy metal toxicity, Lyme Disease, CNS malfunction and psychological factors. Today I am back to the first thing I read as I began trying to learn about fibromyalgia: that almost all of us sufferers are perfectionists who push ourselves to the limit and who stress or worry about nearly everything. To remedy that, I’ve tried Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping the body’s meridian points), acupressure, acupuncture, yoga, and meditation, although I’ve never mastered meditation on my own. In my gut I’ve always known that to get better, I would have to figure out how to calm my mind, relax my body and get over having to be perfect, but I’ve not realized success with any of these.

Monday I found Tai Chi. I’ve heard repeatedly that Tai Chi is one of the best things for Fibro. During the first class, it was perfectly clear why. It is meditation. You can’t think about anything else but doing the movements, which are fluid, graceful and ultimately relaxing. They are so slow they deceivingly require muscle control and strength, and when done with correct form, provide gentle but powerful stretching.

This week I’ve had energy that I haven’t felt in years. It could be attributed to a number of new things I started since we got home from vacation two weeks ago:

·      I began taking DHEA 10 mg (lab tests done before vacation showed I was low)

·      I began drinking 10-20 oz. of alkalized water a day (via Juuva’s Energy Cup)

·      To reduce electromagnetic field exposure, I stopped talking with my cell or cordless phone to my head; unplugged all electrical gadgets in my bedroom while I sleep and when not in use; and don’t use my laptop on my lap.

·      A "cold" front dropped temps all week to the 70s and 80s (heat wilts me!)

·      I spent time with a friend who inspired me to be constantly aware of negative thoughts and replace them with happy, lighter ones. This goes hand-in-hand with a book I started reading before vacation, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D., Burns, M.D. in which the author cites studies showing that positive thoughts literally change brain chemistry.

Today’s smile(s) came first thing in the morning as husby and I were walking in the neighborhood. Coming toward us was a woman totally unaware that anyone else was out and about, humming out loud – no earphones, just her own song. A few moments later, someone behind us called out a greeting. Most times when we walk, it’s hard to get anyone we encounter to even nod hello, even when we’re close enough to brush their arm. As he passed us, we saw that he was riding a bike and pulling a baby in a bike trailer, and he called, “Rides just $5!” I’m thankful for God’s little smile early this morning in not one, but two manifestations!

And this week, I’m thankful for energy and a mind clear enough to write. It feels good, and it seems right to start a gratitude diary. If next week turns bad again, I’ll have this week to remember until another good day comes!