Winter-Blue Skies

Jan 21, 2015

After a week of gray and dreary 30- and 40-degree temperatures, I am grateful for sunshiny temps in the 60s and 70s. I do love cold weather in the winter, especially in Texas where it’s hot and sticky for so much of the year, but gray skies start to weigh me down after too many days in a row. 

Tai Chi is so great for stretching, improving energy and balance, and calming my mind, but I’m in a funk despite doing it every day. It dawned on me that to lift my mood and wake up I need to do more to get the blood flowing, so I am especially grateful for some dry, warmer days, when I could enjoy some outdoor exercise. A walk in January under winter-blue skies, with sunshine that warms the air just enough to be perfectly pleasant (and air that is dry) is a special gift. Blue skies in the winter are just so pretty!

Laughing Really Is The Best Medicine

Monday, November 24, 2014

I love our Monday night Tai Chi class; not only are we the only two in the class and so get more advanced, individualized instruction than in the Tuesday class, but on Monday there are no classes before or after our class, so we can go a few minutes early to stretch, and our class always goes at least 10 minutes over the scheduled time. What I love and am grateful for is what we learn after class officially ends. We usually spend another 20 minutes visiting with Sifu, where he expounds on the nuances that make Tai Chi so fascinating – and how we can refine our practice to utilize it for healing, strength and even self-defense.

I should’ve been writing about our “classes-after-class” all along, but I haven’t, so I’ll start with tonight’s session. I’ve noticed an unbelievably tender spot on my arm in the last week or so, and I asked Sifu about it tonight. He ran his finger down the arm and stopped right at the tender spot. He has explained in the past that tender spots are energy blockages, and this spot is on the liver meridian. As we know, the liver filters all toxins, including the emotional variety. Hmmm, I’m a bit stressed and out of sorts just now, so a liver-related tender spot wouldn’t be surprising. Several Tai Chi pressure points that we do regularly really hurt, which Sifu says is to be expected for someone with fibro. Interesting that a fibro diagnosis is based heavily on the presence of specific tender points – and even more interesting that scientific studies show that Tai Chi is one of the best things for fibromyalgia treatment.

So what to do about this particular tender spot and energy blockage? Rub the hands together until they get warm – the warmth is good, but the purpose of rubbing hands together is to signal the brain to send energy to the palms, a major energy center. Then you rub one hand on the shoulder of the affected arm, then rub the elbow, then rub the arm between the shoulder and elbow. This initiates healing energy flow to break up the blockage. We’ll see how it works.

In the course of tonight's discussion, we learned that the healing properties of Tai Chi come from Qi Gongs, not from postures and forms. The movement of the Forms is interesting to do and to watch, but Forms are designed to build strength and to improve balance and flexibility, not to heal. Sifu said I should be doing Qi Gongs morning and night, and doing Points two or three times a day. He also said it’s important not to hold anger and frustration in, and showed us an exercise called something like “Shaking Body, Laughing Baby” where you bounce from your feet to shake and vibrate the body while making a loud laughing sound. I've known for some time that bouncing activates the lymph system to clear the body of toxins. So I came home and did a little searching about bouncing – sure enough, it’s known to have the physiological effect of releasing stress and tension. But it’s also known that yelling or laughing releases negative energy. According to Tai Chi philosophy, the sky is positive energy, the earth is negative energy, and people are neutral (or should be, unless – or until, it seems – they get out of whack). Sifu says that rather than holding anger and tension in, we should release it by yelling – not at another person, because heaven knows we don’t want to spread negative energy around – but at the earth, because earth can receive negative energy with no harmful effects. He said you can also yell at trees but not embrace them, because people with more experience in energy movement can sap the tree of its energy. I’m not sure what my neighbors will think, but they might find me more neighborly after I’ve done some therapeutic yelling (and shaking) in my back yard!

Oh, one last bonus tonight: a pressure point for insomnia! Laying on your side, lightly touch the Third Eye point (between the eyebrows) with a finger from the pillow-side hand. Visualize energy flowing to the point, and you should fall asleep shortly because it gently redirects the brain from racing thoughts to the point. We did it with Sifu, just for a few seconds, and I’ll be darned if I didn’t feel immediately relaxed. It’s beyond late, so I should go give it a try.

Brrrr ...

Sunday, Nov. 16, 2014

It got cold this week (mid-20s-at-night, mid-40s-during-the-day cold) and I'm thankful.
For:

• A house with heat
• Comfy beds with plenty of blankets
• Sweaters, socks, coats, gloves and ear warmers
• A fireplace
• A reliable car with heat
• Hot soup and other hearty winter foods
• Amazing Grass in chocolate-mint flavor that can be mixed with hot liquid for stand-in hot chocolate
• Frozen garden pests and pollen
• Good hair days that come with dry polar air. Seriously, this is something for which I'm truly grateful. Less-frequent washing, and just a little finger-fluffing takes my head from the shower to out-the-door with no frustrating blow dryer attempts to put some oomph in flat tresses. I LOVE THIS.

Cake-and-Bagua Walk

Sunday, Nov. 9, 2014

It's the time of year to be grateful, and not just in the sense of November and Thanksgiving: for shirtsleeve-cool, not-humid air, for sunrise late enough to actually see and enjoy (never have been an early-morning person!). This year I'm particularly appreciating the season, as I've been doing my morning Tai Chi on the back deck. At 7:30 or so, the sun isn't yet in my eyes but is a warm orange glow just above the fence line. One morning this week after a rain the night before, steam was rising eerily off the fence as the sun began to warm the air.

Look closely - see the steam?

I breathe in the cold morning air, which burns my nostrils, but beyond the cold, the experience is so much more invigorating outdoors than inside that I relish every day I can do this in the back yard. A few weeks ago it was too warm and muggy, and soon it will be too cold. Fall mornings are a treat worth waiting 10 months for; starting a Fall day with focused Tai Chi is a particular gift.

With daily practice, Tai Chi movements have become somewhat more natural, and thus our classes have advanced beyond choreography to focusing on energy movement. As we do the forms, we envision energy flowing out from hands or feet, and we do feel a difference in the hand and feet positions when we feel that energy. Theoretically, when energy blockages break up and energy flows as it should, healing occurs. At a class last week, Sifu said he was skipping Qigong that night because of the weather. That was a new one - but he quite often surprises us with nuances of the practice. He explained that Qigongs are intended to gather energy from the earth and get it moving in the body in an organized, health-giving way. When a storm is brewing or in progress, atmospheric energy is chaotic and can upset the body's energy if brought in through Qigong. Further, he said that early morning is the very best time to do Qigongs, when the day's energy is new and fresh. 

The next day, he taught us how to do Bagua, or Circle Walking - for those inclement-weather days when walking outside isn't practical. The basic pattern is to visualize a spot on the floor and walk in a circle around it; not as simple as walking in a circle, as it requires the outside foot to actually make an arc that keeps the pattern in a uniform circle. He taught us four hand positions, in each of which both hands are kept in a certain position on the inside of the circle as the feet walk. To begin, Sifu told us to take 20 steps in each direction, in each hand position. We tried it, and it's tougher than it looks - and oh yes, it does make you warm, if not hot!

More Gratitude for the week: I celebrated a birthday with people I love, both in-person and far away. Husby planned a full day, including a visit to the Kimbell art museum to see Impressionistic works on loan from the Musee d'Orsay in Paris, followed by lunch with Daughter and Grandson #1. They brought gifts and a hydrangea for the table; Grandson said he was thrilled I was turning 30. (I think one time this year he asked how old I was and I probably told him 29). Husby gave me a potted calla lily plant with amber flowers I had admired at Central Market last week and other thoughtful gifts. I received cards and calls from dear friends & sisters who remember my little day. Dinner with Husby, and then Son & family came over for paleo carrot cake, I gift I made for myself. 

Paleo carrot cake - wow, 10 eggs!

The cake itself tasted just like my old favorite recipe and had good texture for a flourless cake but was a little wet (Tres Leches carrot cake?). The mock-cream cheese icing (made with palm shortening, ghee, cashew butter for the cheesy flavor, and apple cider vinegar/lemon juice for the tang) was a pretty credible substitute, and I'm a cream-cheese icing lover!

But pretty, right?!? Especially on my mom's milk-glass cake stand.

 

Smile for today: I sat by Son, D-I-L and Grandson #2 in church today. At the end of the meeting, I said to Grandson, "Are you going to nursery now?!" He nodded, pacifier firmly in mouth. I stood up and reached for his hand, which he put in mine and we headed down the aisle. He has never wanted anything to do with me - pulls away if I get too close, certainly won't let me hold him, and only recently gave up screaming fits if left alone with me. So I looked down at him, thinking he must have thought he was holding his daddy's hand. Nope. He knew it was me, and we were walking to nursery together - and he was just fine with it. Finally!

Mirror, Mirror

Oct. 16, 2014

Could it be time to leave the Montana cabin already? 

Sadly, we packed up on this clear, sunny and very crisp morning, took one last look at the view from the deck (Husby & I did our Tai Chi Unification form on the deck for good measure, because when do we have the opportunity to do it in this kind of nature?), and headed toward Yellowstone on our way back to Utah. 

Beaver Lake, a small lake just east of Quake Lake, perfectly mirrors the mountains and pine trees. We've wanted a picture of it since the first day we drove past it, but we never timed a photo op just right. Today, however, the conditions were perfect, and we took pictures that can never adequately depict what our eyes saw; I'm grateful to have seen it. 

 

Starry, Starry Night

Oct. 15, 2014

Today I'm grateful for childhood memories of Yellowstone, homemade chili and stars. 

I remember my family's camping trips, many of them to Yellowstone, and some of my memories bubbled to the surface as we drove those roads again with Daughter, Son-In-Law and Grandson. Grandson is 5, and as five-year-olds do, he talks incessantly, usually nonsense. He pokes, squirms, laughs, then instantly turns to sulking when he doesn't get his way. That reminded me of three little girls squirming on the back seat of my dad's Oldsmobile as the miles stretched endlessly on, with my dad crossly threatening that he would pull off the road and spank me if I didn't stop giggling. He kept his word on more than one occasion, and I would cry, my bottom stinging, only to start giggling again as soon as the car was back in motion. My sisters have both independently recorded the same memory, so I'm pretty sure it really happened as I remember it. On this trip, the realization came to me that I must have been about 5 when my own annoying behavior caused some aggravation on family vacations. I never thought spankings would be a memory for which I'm grateful, but somehow, I am.

Daughter wanted a family portrait from this trip, so today, even though it was cloudy, we set up a portrait on the cabin deck and down on the river bank. Yesterday was sunny and would have been a perfect portrait day, but we had so much we wanted to see in the park that we got home too late to do a portrait.

Despite the clouds, the air was still today - until the moment we wrapped up, then the wind came up and blustered the rest of the day. I'm grateful that we got to take a family picture for Daughter. After my parents died, one of my sisters went through all of my dad's slides and made a digital selection of representative photos. I treasure more than words can express the ones of our trips to Yellowstone, many of them probably taken in the exact spots we have taken pictures the last few days. I know what this family photo will someday mean to Daughter and Grandson, and perhaps to others in the family tree who haven't yet been born. 

I also felt a sense of personal history when we drove the road around Quake Lake, as my family was in the great Yellowstone earthquake of Aug. 17, 1959. I was not quite 3 years old, and my family was in a camper when the quake hit at about 11:30 p.m.; the 7.5-magnitude quake triggered a landslide that sent 80 million tons of rock crashing down on sleeping campers at a Forest Service campsite just west of Yellowstone. About 28 people were killed, either crushed under the rock or drowned in the Madison River. I never realized until this trip how grateful I am that we were protected. The 50-year-old dead trees rising out of the depths of the six-mile-long lake are an eerie reminder of how blessed we were.

We put chili ingredients in the crock pot this morning before leaving on our day's adventure and came home to the most wonderful aroma. Even the next-door neighbor's dogs apparently knew something was cooking and were on the doorstep the minute our truck pulled up. I'm grateful for the blessing of food and for how delicious it tastes after a long day of exploring nature. After dinner we played games, and I'm grateful for the bonds that are formed when families play together.

The day ended with a gathering on the porch to look at the stars. This is the only night of our stay that the skies have been completely clear. It's been so long since I’ve seen stars like that, I was awe-struck. We saw the Milky Way stretch across the entire sky. Grandson saw for the first time the Big and Little Dipper, but the stars were so dense that Husby and S-I-L couldn’t find Orion. There we were with the expanse of endless stars like tiny holes punched in a perfectly clear blue-black sky letting heaven shine through; silhouettes of pines against that sky; the river shushing by, and night-birds calling … heaven on earth. I'm filled with gratitude for that breathtaking experience.

Surrounded by Majesty

Oct. 14, 2014

It’s pretty easy to find things for which to be grateful while on vacation – it’s vacation, after all! 

I’ve kept vacation journals before, but I’ve never recorded how I feel about what I see and experience. Doing it brings a new dimension to vacation, just as it has done to everyday life. 

I'm grateful for the wonders of nature I've seen the last few days. I've seen these same features many times, but it occurred to me, as I’m sure it does every time I visit (but I forget when I get back home), that I'm witnessing God’s majesty here. I don’t often see or feel that in man-made surroundings. 

As I looked out at the stunning vistas, with dramatic rocky cliffs towering to the sides, a clear rushing river cascading to a dramatic falls, and beyond that, miles and miles of green pine trees stretching to the blue mountains on the horizon, I felt so grateful for all this splendor! 

And today I’m grateful for 60-degree temps, which made visiting all these sights even more pleasurable than yesterday, when it was overcast a lot of the day, 38° and windy, so our hands, noses and ears stung with the cold. 

Walking through the mist from the hot pots made it even colder, and at one particular spot, the steam was so dense our hair was dripping and our eyelashes froze; our coats were covered with frost, and we looked like wet cats.  

 


We headed to Old Faithful at lunchtime and ate our little picnic on a bench near the geyser, shivering and walking around to stay warm. We were blessed with a tender mercy: the geyser went off about 15 minutes after we ate lunch, and the next eruption wasn’t for nearly two more hours! To be at the site I visited so many times as a child and to see it again now through the eyes of my grandson was ... kind of like Christmas. Things that are magical to a kid don't seem quite so magical when you grow up until you become a grandparent. I'm grateful to have felt the magic again!



We walked and hiked and got in and out of the car dozens of times, and we came home tired and happy. 

We built a fire in the fire pit on the riverbank and roasted hot dogs and completely saturated our clothes and hair with campfire smoke. I'm grateful for all the happy family-camping-vacation memories this activity conjured and to share it now with Grandson. 

 

I'm grateful to look out the window and see this for five glorious days in autumn!

I Have Been Purchased

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Sabbath in the mountains … we had no church to attend today, but if worship is communion with God, then at times, Nature is a fine chapel.

 He who created this chapel of trees, water and mountains (which received a snow-frosting last night) also walked the earth and felt all the pains I have or ever will feel. He himself surely experienced stomachaches, headaches, fevers, scrapes and bruises. We are told He knew sorrow and grief, for He too lost friends and loved ones to death and more tragically, to sin. He was reviled, tempted and betrayed. Whatever mortality has to offer in the way of trials and suffering He knew, either through His own experience or through mine, and everyone else whose soul He lived to redeem. 

He never faltered, He never lost sight of His purpose; even when He could have saved Himself from the agony that only He could endure, He continued. With His tears and His love, He purchased me. 

I often forget that and become frightened, disheartened, impatient and angry. I have become distracted by a job, a hobby or pursing a talent, all of which are gifts from God, but which have, ironically, at one time or another replaced proper worship of the Giver of those gifts.

But listening to a rebroadcast of last week’s LDS Church General Conference messages – here in this environment where my spirit feels most at home – I reflected and resolved to do better at utilizing His sacrifice for me.

I am supremely grateful for my Savior. I am grateful to be reminded today – and every Sabbath day as I take the sacrament of the Lord’s supper – of the love He has for me, for what He was willing to do for me, and that He alone knows how I really feel, and thus how to comfort me, because He felt it, too.

 Today’s smile (from yesterday): As Husby, Daughter & Family and I were saying a family prayer for safety in our travels before we embarked on our trip to the mountains together, I peeked at Grandson, who happened to be peeking at me. We both knew our eyes should be closed, and I’m afraid I wasn’t a very good example. But it made both of us giggle silently to see the other one peeking. Funny, too, he didn’t peek at anyone else, and neither did I. Kindred spirits.

Autumn Day

Oct. 11, 2014

Today I’m grateful to be in the mountains soaking up the crisp air, scented with pine and drenched with freshness. The brilliant yellows, which are all that remain of fall’s colors for this year, look startlingly like flames set against a cerulean sky or the deep emerald of surrounding evergreens. 

This is the time of year that makes me long to live again in the mountain West. I love, love, love Fall. I'm not sure what Zen is, but I'm thinking maybe that's what I feel when I sit cloaked in the glorious blanket of autumn, because I can't conjure words that convey the alive-ness I feel in the Fall. It's cozy and comfortable and refreshing; it's warmth, inherent in fall-cooking spices and campfire smoke, and all things Fall.

It's spiritual - it's reverence for the sheer beauty and for the Creator, who in His loving-kindness created something like this at the end of every wearyingly hot summer. As I write, I can feel my body and mind settle just hearing the river rushing by; the rain on the roof adds to the water Chi. Aside from the river, it's absolutely quiet and still. Thank thee, Heavenly Father, for making this!

What Comes Around

Sept. 28, 2014

One Christmas when I was stressing about not being able to get everything done (one Christmas? Just one???) a pragmatic friend said, “Don’t worry about it! Christmas will come again next year.”

Today I’m grateful for the good things that do keep coming around. Coming-Around might be a second chance to improve on that Christmas that wasn’t quite as meaningful as I’d have liked it to be. It can ease the sadness at seeing something I enjoy end because I know it will come again. In a world of so much uncertainty, it really is a gift to know that some things are givens!

Like hummingbirds, for example. Earlier in the summer, I bemoaned the fact that despite my diligence in putting out fresh nectar every three days, I never saw a hummingbird. The day I saw two for an extended period, I wrote about my smile. Not long after that, the hummers seemed to have found a home in our back yard. They perched in the trees near the back door, and we learned to recognize their chirps. A male with a bright orange neck would hover and eat at one feeder, then perch atop the shepherd’s hook for 10 minutes at a time, apparently defending his turf, as he would shoo and peck at any other hummer that tried to feed there. Three “regulars” were constantly at one or both feeders, and they had a captive audience in me and Husby because we couldn’t pry ourselves from the window – which was a good portion of the day for about two weeks. 

Hanging out in our trees

Guarding his food

I did some reading and learned that hummers start migrating south as early as mid-July. By mid-September, they are feeding constantly to build up their body weight to endure the long trip south – as far as Central America or Panama. Well, we were happy to supply our little entertainers with fuel for their trip, and then just as we got in the habit of looking out the windows to see their antics, they were gone. I suppose they got as fat as they needed to be and departed for longer days, warmer weather and more bugs to eat. I had so enjoyed watching them that I felt let down when they up and disappeared. But guess what? Hummingbirds come back in mid-March. Every year. Hasta la vista, little birds, and I’ll have the nectar out for you in March!

A perching feeder encourages hummers to stay awhile

Love his iridescent green back

Guess what else? Just as the hummingbird window closed, autumn knocked on the door. Even though it will be a while before we see any leaves turn here in Texas, the days are noticeably shorter, and fall (and ragweed, unfortunately) is in the air. I love Fall and all things associated with it (except ragweed) – warm gold and red colors, cool nights, crisp apples, pumpkin cookies (which I won’t be eating this year, and I don’t how I’ll bear it), and wearing sweaters.

One thing does make me sad – really, really sad – about autumn, though: the end of pool time. When a cool front came through early this week with low humidity and nighttime temps in the low 60s, I feared that last Saturday’s pool time was the last one for this season, and that’s a big deal because the water keeps Freddie at bay. The pool temp dropped to 76° and never got above 81° this week, but I got in every day, and each time I gave thanks that I had one more! And I have something to look forward to, right? Hummingbirds, summer and pool time will come again!

Smile for today: 

Resident lizard sunning on a yellow pepper in our herb garden

Bon Apetit!

Sept. 6, 2014

Today’s smiles: 

• A surprise rain storm and cool front this afternoon. The day started out hot and sticky, but dark clouds rolled in rather quickly in the late afternoon and dumped substantial but gentle rain. It was beautiful! Straight-down rain - no wind - intermittently for a good four hours or more. Flowers and grass know the difference between hose water and the real deal, and the begonias in the front beds changed from transparent-looking pale green to the deep amber their leaves are supposed to be after drinking up that dose of heaven-sent moisture.
• Having a dear friend and her husband (who we’re getting to know and love) and my daughter and her hubby for dinner tonight. I spent the whole afternoon cooking – cutting endlessly, and cleaning up lots of sticky juice and small chopped items that inevitably wind up on the floor, and washing a thousand dishes and utensils. This is not enjoyable to me. However, eating really fresh food prepared from scratch and sharing it with people I love and who nurture my spirit is so worth the work and aching back! And I learned something new in preparing a citrus habañero salsa: what a “supreme-style segment” is and how to prepare it. You slice the rind off of a citrus fruit, taking just the peel and rind, then slicing between the segments so you end up with just fruit sections, no skin of any kind attached (yeah, there's an artful technique to this, and I'm sure really good knives make it much easier). Oh my, juice up to my elbows! But wow, this salsa looks great and should be yumm-O on the citrus marinated fish fillets!

About my friend: She’s a couple years older than our daughter and attended church with us while she was working on her doctorate degree. She’s smart (obviously), and she has such a good heart, is generous and considerate - beautiful in every way. She loves to cook good, healthy food, so we enjoy eating together. She became like a daughter to us, and in fact, she and our daughter could be sisters. I have girls’ nights once or twice a year, and one time I invited her and my daughter so they could meet. As predicted, they hit it off. Friend married a nice guy and they moved into his house on the north side of town. We’ve made it a point to stay in touch with them; I meet Friend for lunch every so often, Friend & Hubby had us for dinner in the spring, so it’s our turn to treat tonight. It just makes my heart smile to be with these kids. Bon Apetit!  

A Week's Worth

Sept. 5, 2014

I have some catching up to do! Gaps in my posts don’t mean I haven’t noticed things I’m grateful for, just that I haven’t gotten around to writing them down. So here are a few from the past week: 

• This summer I have diligently kept my hummingbird feeders filled and clean, which means making nectar at least once a week and emptying/cleaning/refilling the feeders every 2-3 days. I can see the level of the nectar going down in the tube feeder, but I never see any birds sipping from it. Since I see it going down, I keep up the routine, and I was finally rewarded a couple of days ago! While eating lunch, I looked up and a hummer was at the feeder right outside the window. He perched and drank for the longest time, then flitted around to each of the holes. He must have stayed for five minutes. Later in the day while in the pool, I saw hummers, or maybe the same one, at both feeders, again for quite a few minutes. Definitely a smile for the day!

• While shopping at Costco last week, I got in line behind an elderly woman and her daughter, who looked quite a bit older than me (which says how elderly the elder woman was!). Mama had a rebate check to cash, so her daughter went on the “customer” side of the checkout to pay for their order, and Mama went on the “cart” side to cash her check and apply it toward the purchase. She was having a hard time figuring out what to do, then figuring out how to sign the check, then she couldn’t understand that she needed to show her Costco card so they could start ringing up her items. She told the checker she’d really like a cart, and checker said, “But you have a cart right here!” “No, I want one of those carts you can ride on.” Daughter was getting impatient and whispered to the clerk, “No, she doesn’t, she’s fine.” A second clerk looked around and told Mama apologetically that all the riding carts were taken. When they finally got her and Daughter through the line, they started on my order, but Mama hadn’t quite moved beyond checkout stand. I wrapped up my checkout, and Mama was still standing there blocking the road, with a shoe in her hand and was now having trouble getting it back on. The clerk motioned for me to meet my cart on the other side of Mama; I smiled at her and hurriedly made my way for the door. (Tai Chi hasn’t broken my hurrying habit yet, I’m afraid.) Coming toward me was the second clerk at the checkout, riding toward Mama on a cart and calling out to her, “Hey, look what I found for you!” I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time, and to sandwich-hug the clerk, Mama, and Daughter.

• I got myself into playing the organ for church this Sunday, kind of a musical chairs of substituting for someone who substituted for another organist last week. At any rate, I haven't touched the organ since Easter Sunday because playing the organ is stressful for me, and at about that time I elected to remove as much stress as possible to allow all the therapies I'm doing to actually work. Here's the thing with the organ: it is not like playing the piano, which I'm fairly good at. On organ, you don't get a sustain pedal to help you play legato - you have to actually hold each key until the next tone plays, so you have to meticulously plan - and write out - fingering, until you get really good at playing. To make it work, the left hand has to take some of the right-hand notes, which is confusing to a normal brain, but to Freddie, it's pure, intense frustration. Oh, and add feet playing pedals, often in opposing direction to hands, and it's ... stressful. Add in stage fright, and well, I had to leave organ playing behind. So back at the church practicing several times this week I was reminded of what sitting on a hard wooden bench with arms raised to play on two different manuals (higher than a piano keyboard), chin tipped up to see the music does to my body. It helped somewhat to remember the Tai Chi visualization of head pulled up by a string, the rest of the body suspended and relaxed, but even so, my hand muscles were in a cramp last night from using hand muscles that haven't been used in months, I felt the tension in my neck and shoulders, and my ribs are hurting really bad. But here's what I'm grateful for: The swimming pool - again. I came home from each organ session barely able to move, my hips, torso and legs were so stiff and painful. In the weightlessness of the water, I feel no pain; I kick, stretch and move, and the water figuratively and literally washes away tension and pain and refreshes body and spirit. I'm also grateful for Tai Chi, which is giving me actual relaxation tools to use during and after stressful events; and for sacred music that I do love so much (just not playing it in front of other people); and the opportunity of having learned how to play the organ - and not having to do it every week!

• And today's smile: Talking to my BFF from third grade for more than an hour this afternoon. She's one of those few people I absolutely trust, and when either of us just needs to talk to someone, we are the Someone we both think of first. We live thousands of miles apart now, but we meet up for a girls' weekend occasionally, and although we don't talk weekly or even monthly sometimes, when we do talk, we pick up right where we left off. We can say what we honestly feel and we know that neither of us will think less of the other one. She would come this minute if I needed her, and I would do the same for her. How precious is the gift of that kind of friend?!