Yin and Yang

Feb. 2, 2015

Last Monday night Husby was sick, so I went to Tai Chi class alone. But I had company once I got there – two women and a man. After six months of progression, to go back to a Square-One class filled me with what I learned tonight is called Yin (to the extreme): disappointment; bitterness and frustration that God would give me such a gift and then yank it away – because if new people join, Sifu has to teach to the lowest common denominator, leaving nothing in-between for Husby and me; and hopelessness – again.

But the Yin only lasted 18 hours before turning to Yang (Yin and Yang discussion to follow!) At class the next day, Husby and I were the only ones to show up, so we got one-on-one time with Sifu, one more time. It was a marvelous class full of the personalized nuances I have come to crave, and so what I needed after the Plot Twist left me fearing Tai Chi would end just as I was on the verge of realizing its healing effects. And at the end of class Sifu told us he’s working with the Rec center to add a Forms class, which is the next progression of Tai Chi study after a person learns the 45 Postures. I am utterly on-my-knees grateful for that. I knew every Monday night that if someone new came, that class would have to go back to the very beginning, and I was grateful every week that it didn’t. I knew the day would inevitably come, but when it did, I wasn’t prepared for the emotions that accompanied the realization that my progress had come to a screeching halt. A simple Plot Twist can change everything in an instant; another Plot Twist can turn everything again just as quickly.

I must insert here that the two women who “tried out” the class last week didn’t return tonight, as I figured they wouldn’t; they clearly were not feeling the Chi. The man has attended Sifu’s classes at other locations, so although he doesn’t know the Postures well, he knows what they are and has done them before. So Sifu did a new Qi Gong with the three of us and took us through the Postures with a focus on Yin and Yang.

I can’t claim to speak with any authority about Yin and Yang after one class, but I do grasp that in simple terms, Yin and Yang are two opposing yet complementary aspects of everything in the universe. Yin examples are dark, negative, night, cold and wet; Yang, then, is light, positive, day, warm and dry. 

The Tai Chi symbol

The constant interchange of Yin and Yang represents balance, as depicted in a diagram called the Tai Chi symbol. We see Yin and Yang in the crests and troughs of ocean waves, in night turning to day and winter to summer. This isn’t a new concept to me; I have been taught in my faith that we can’t appreciate good without evil, health without sickness, joy without grief. While I have appreciated the principle as truth and found some comfort in recognizing the value of trials, I have never seen it as a way of achieving balance.

In Tai Chi practice, we first learned basic postures by trying to imitate the moves Sifu made. After learning the choreography of each move, we began to learn that a Posture is actually a complex sequence of weight shifts – Yin and Yang. If we try to move before the weight has shifted, we lose balance and sometimes topple over. Chinese thought holds that Tai Chi creates balance within our body through Yin and Yang movements. The Postures felt different – and resonated more, if that makes sense – with this new perspective in mind. It’s these intricate layers that make Tai Chi increasingly satisfying – and we’ve only begun to scratch the surface!  

I’m grateful for the first Plot Twist, without which I might not fully appreciate the second one, which is, in essence, God’s assertion that He knows this class is a gift to me and His mercy in not taking it away (while reminding me that He can!) It's like they were an object lesson of Yin and Yang that prefaced the class on Yin and Yang. Both of these Twists also made me appreciate even more that Sifu is a gift from God – he was healed by practicing Tai Chi and teaches with the selfless goal of helping each of his students achieve balance and healing; if that means adding a class so two students can continue to progress and heal, he'll commit some more of his time to do that.

Writing this journal helps me find and appreciate the good, or Yang, sometimes by recognizing that things could be or have been worse, the Yin. I can see God’s hand in leading me first to lunch with a friend who inspired me to look for daily blessings, then quickly to someone who told me about the Tai Chi class; recognizing blessings plays right into the Tai Chi practice of moving Yin and Yang to create balance.

According to Chinese philosophy, anxiety, frustration, anger and fatigue I feel can be balanced by bringing in more Yang. It seems so obvious, right? What’s the quickest way to end a child’s tantrum or sulking? Tickle him! But why do I not instinctively tickle myself? Sifu says it’s the Monkey Mind that so dislikes change that it stubbornly resists.

I am grateful that Tai Chi gives me a daily practice designed to slowly loosen the Monkey Mind’s grip, unblock energy flow and restore balance. And grateful that my classes will continue for a while!