M' Love

Sept. 14, 2014

Thirty-eight years ago today was a glorious autumn day in Salt Lake City. Couldn’t have been a more perfect day for a wedding. September in Texas is still summer, and our first year here we celebrated our 10^th anniversary. And Husby was out of town on business. He got home the evening of our anniversary, so I got my neighbor to keep the kids, and I set a candlelit table and had a beautiful dinner ready when he arrived. Not what I had in mind for the decade marker, but it was quite lovely after all.

This year’s celebration was low-key; experiences are the best gifts these days, and we are due a getaway, but when it comes right down to it, overnighters aren’t really a treat due to Husby’s loud snoring, so we decided to do some daytime activities together. A couple of movies are playing that are actually worth seeing, so we thought we’d do that Friday, but the day got consumed with things that had to be done that day. I wanted to take the watch he got for his 25^th work anniversary for a battery replacement that morning. Here’s why that could be considered a gift fit for an anniversary: the jewelry place is in the mall. I loathe malls. Husby hates them even more than I do. But I did it, and the watch now has a lifetime warranty on its battery. 

That done, I needed to do some cleaning-out in my sewing room (Lighten Up!!!) and box it up to take to the church for a swap-and-shop event the next day. The swap-and-shop is a brilliant idea conceived and executed by my Lighten Up friend who inspired me to start writing this gratitude journal. She oversees the women’s organization of several wards (congregations) for our church in a certain geographical area. The event is on Saturday, so  people bring stuff for which they no longer have a use on Friday, then my friend and her helpers sort it and set it out to display. The next morning, anyone can come and take whatever they like. Anything that's left at the end goes to Union Gospel Mission. I didn’t go to the actual event because Heaven knows I don’t need to bring home any more treasures – the idea is to lighten up, not replace stuff with more stuff! I gave away the items that represent the hobbies in which I invested so much time and which provided therapy for so many years. Letting go of things like that is hard. Letting go of anything is hard for me, let’s face it. So this was a good step.

From the church drop-off, Husby and I went to get shelving to organize and make functional my sewing room. So that’s what we did instead of going to a movie, but at this point in my cluttered life, Husby and I agree that celebration of life together sometimes means doing things that are just plain good for us. That might be a trip, a movie, a nice dinner, or getting rid of clutter that bogs us down (well, my clutter does invade his space, too, I’m sorry to say). We did eat dinner out, though – and we had a very nice dinner the next night to properly celebrate. Husby gave me flowers and a mandoline, which I’ve been wanting now that I’m preparing all our food from scratch. Not romantic, you say? Anything that makes my life easier in my quest to be well is a gift of love! The best thing he gave me, though, was a love letter that no material gift can touch. And here’s how great he is: he reads my blog and saw that I didn’t find English Toffee on my mom’s Heaven Day, so he went and got a Heath bar. Just so I could have one little bite for Mom. 

I wrapped up his watch, gave him an e-book that surprised him and made him laugh, and made Danielle Walker's blueberry waffles for breakfast. (From her cookbook, Against All Grain.) Husby had church meetings all over the Metroplex beginning at 8:30 this morning, but when he got home I made Danielle’s burrito bowls – yummm.

We went back to yet another church meeting later in the day, where I saw a friend of many years who I don’t see often any more because they moved further away. We hugged and I asked her how she was doing, and she told me she and her husband are divorcing. It didn’t register for a moment, and I had absolutely no words. They seemed to be such a solid family, and you wonder, if it can fall apart for them, who is immune? For this devastating news to come on my own anniversary makes me just that much more grateful for Husby and what we’ve had for 38 years, and what we have today.