Last night while talking about Grandson #1's quirks and challenges, Daughter expressed her frustration at his high intellect but utter laziness. He'll try something and then stop in frustration, saying, "I can't; it's hard." Daughter isn't having any of that; her response is,"You can do hard things!"
He's blessed to have a mother who makes that a mantra. It struck me when my daughter uttered that mantra last night that no one ever said to me, "You can do hard things." No one really needed to because I've always driven myself. I try a lot of things, but I've never broken through to expert status in any pursuit because I give up when the going gets tough and move on to something new (easier because you start at beginner level each time). Piano, writing, photography, sewing - all intermediate-level hobbies. I work hard, climbing and climbing, but when the air gets thin, I decide hiking isn't for me and I never quite experience the euphoria of reaching the summit. I ask myself, is it because my brain can't sort information when I get to the level that requires more processing? Or is it that I don't have the physical and mental energy to persist at the more complicated levels?
Now this epiphany startles me because I'm a perfectionist, and perfectionists generally aren't quitters - are they? I do recognize that I also abhor losing, and if I can't be as good as the best (perfect), then I just won't play any more. True competitors - and winners, eventually - enjoy the competition, which spurs them on to beat their opponent (or obstacle). What I do is get all tied up in knots about doing whatever I'm doing in the best, most perfect way possible, and I literally wear myself out. Epiphanhy! There's a subtle but significant difference between competitors and perfectionists; methinks competitors drew the healthier straw on this one.
As I watch Grandson running in circles, talking incessantly, analyzing and figuring out things well beyond his age level, it's sometimes like looking in a mirror. I don't have the outward appearance of energy that he exhibits, obviously, but I suspect the excessive brain firing that makes him Perpetual Motion causes my brain fog and fatigue. Huh? Well, although no one has ever described me as energetic much less hyper, I share with him social awkwardness, I was intellectually ahead of my peers in early elementary school, and then there's that gnawing element of giving up when something poses a challenge. And I've had a lot of years for that excessive firing to wear out my body systems and make me foggy and fatigued. My son has many of the same attributes, but there wasn't as much information readily available to parents about ADD/ADHD 30+ years ago, and I admit I wasn't as on top of parenting as Daughter is.
I'm not crazy in my linking spectrum disorders to chronic ailments like fibro and chronic fatigue. While researching methylation (Fibro Doc #3 believes faulty methylation caused high homocysteine levels, which likely contributed to the stroke in my eye earlier this year), I ran across the work of Dr. Amy Yasko, who believes that most of the complicated, chronic illnesses and disorders that seem to be on the rise today stem from a flaw in a major biochemical pathway called the Methylation Cycle. We're talking Parkinson's, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, IBS, Chron's Disease and Autism, to name a few seemingly unrelated conditions. She says:
A combination of genetic weaknesses, metal toxicities, infections, and other factors can lead to a negative cascade of neurological events.Yasko also says that if a child has Autism or other spectrum disorders, he or she likely has a mother or close relative with that or other conditions mentioned above, implying that these are genetically inherited disorders. Autism has been accepted as an inherited condition for some time, but Yasko claims that a whole array of ailments are related and have in common digestive problems. She further claims that when supplements are given to "make up" for deficiencies in the genetic pathway, the symptoms clear, whether it's Autism or one of the other named conditions. Yasko's skeptics call her a quack, but it appears that prestigious institutions like Duke University are pursing research along her line of thought. A collaborative study conducted by 13 institutions around the world published just last month identifies the CHD8 gene mutation responsible for Autism. Interestingly, the study also found that the defective gene causes "issues with sleep disturbance and gastrointestinal problems."
But if Autism and other disorders are genetic, what is making the mutation present itself so abundantly now? Why are we now seeing so many hyper, uncontrollable children? Why are so many people complaining of severe digestive problems, debilitating fatigue and unexplainable widespread pain? Industrialization is likely the blanket "other factors" Yasko mentions above. A big emphatic disclaimer here: I am not a tree-hugging-save-Mother-Earth environmentalist in any form or fashion! I'm the daughter of Depression-era parents who saved and conserved and cared for everything in their possession, so I'm not a wasteful consumer, but I do firmly believe that the earth was created to sustain humans (who are indeed obligated to be good stewards) and that the earth also evolves to do that. However, I acknowledge that an ever-increasing number of cars on the road spew ever more toxins into the air; that more people means more sewage, including chemicals from drugs that we take to combat the effects of a sedentary lifestyle and a processed-food, hormone- and antibiotic-laden diet; and that technology and labor-saving devices have actually served to complicate our lives by deluding us into thinking that we can cram more and more into 24 hours.
Now, Yasko has a whole complicated and expensive protocol of gene testing and nutritional supplementation based on where in the genetic chain the defect lies. My doctor, who obviously doesn't follow Yakso's protocol, clearly does buy into the methylation theory and is having me take three supplements (which are among those Yasko recommends) to lower my homocysteine - and my level dropped to a healthy range within four months of starting the supplements (Vitamin B-12 injections, SAMe, 5-MTHF). Critics of integrative medicine say the homocysteine link to heart disease and stroke is unfounded, but my gut tells me they're wrong - just like they're wrong about using statins to lower cholesterol. (Another post for another day!)
Whether or not gene testing and targeted supplementation is the key to beating today's chronic ailments I don't know. I do know that what I suffer is very real, that Grandson's behaviors are not blown out of proportion by his weary mother, and I do believe there is a genetic link between the two. It makes sense to me that in certain people, a genetically flawed methylation pathway combined with environmental toxins can lead to unexplainable conditions. Well, only unexplainable to "mainstream" medical folks who don't have the guts or drive or whatever to break out of their medical-school mindset and find some meaningful answers of their own. End of soapbox. For today. What I do wonder, though, is if a genetic mutation is a factor in someone's inability to stick with difficult tasks, does it make a meaningful difference if someone tells us we can do hard things? For sure, it makes a difference that Someone believes in us and encourages instead of condemning us :-)
Today's smile: Husby.
He's my smile every day because he's constant, steady, completely honest, loyal, hardworking, generous, and good. (Handsome, too, no?) And he unfalteringly and uncomplainingly stands by, helps, and loves a woman who is grouchy, temperamental and unable to get out and do things a lot of the time. He didn't do anything special today that he doesn't do every day to make me smile, but it's a good day to acknowledge my gratitude for this wonderful man who makes the bed every morning and turns it down for me at night - seriously! - and who my Heavenly Father put right in my path before I thought I was ready to be married, but who is the best thing that ever happened to me.
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